Saying "Yes" to Others and "No" to Self: Overcoming Being a People Pleaser
Updated: Apr 10
In this week's episode of the podcast, we have the privilege of interviewing Suzanne Culberg, the author of "The Beginning is Sh*t: An Unapologetic Weight Loss Memoir," who is also a speaker and coach from Sydney, Australia. She has an online program called "Why W8?".
Suzanne shared that we should set boundaries for people and learn to say "No" without feeling guilty. Most of the time, we say "Yes" to others to keep the peace, but it also means saying "No" to ourselves. Often, people pleasers drop their plans to help others, and it seems like their own lives are secondary.
This people-pleasing personality usually begins as a coping mechanism in childhood due to unmet needs, particularly at a young age. But as adults, we don't need those anymore, yet we haven't retrained or rewired our brains to let go of those habits.
To overcome this tendency, we need to first notice it. We need to ask ourselves why we need to stay up late at night or eat chips over a healthy meal and determine if it's a win-win situation. If it gives you more harm than good, then it's worth rethinking.
Different things trigger us based on our unique experiences growing up. What bothers you might not bother someone else, and someone may interpret your words differently. But we must understand that if you can feel it, then you can heal it.
Suzanne's "Why W8?" program is a ten-week program designed for women. It covers topics such as prioritizing yourself and retraining your brain to let go of people-pleasing habits.
During the podcast, the following essential points were discussed: asking how your confident, higher self would respond to your triggers, believing in an abundance mindset, understanding that the Law of Attraction requires both thinking and action, knowing your goal and celebrating your achievements, and avoiding excuses to wait.
To connect with Suzanne Culberg, visit her website at https://www.suzanneculberg.com/, follow her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/suzanneculberg, Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/suzanne_culberg/, watch her videos on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLcXj9_arWlh-A9SxOyF6Zg, and listen to her podcast at https://www.suzanneculberg.com/podcast/. You can also buy her book, "The Beginning is Sh*t: An Unapologetic Weight Loss Memoir," here: https://www.amazon.com/Beginning-Sh-Unapologetic-Weight-Memoir-ebook/dp/B09FPYVN33?ref_=ast_author_mpb
1:26 - 4:12
Suzanne shared how she became compassionate in helping people say "No" and not feeling guilty about it, for their own good.
5:13 - 6:42
Suzanne explains Maslow's hierarchy of needs and how it affects behavior, especially if certain needs are not met at a young age.
8:16 - 10:24
Suzanne points out ways to recognize if you have a people-pleasing attitude and how to respond to it.
17:33 - 20:11
Suzanne shares her view on the scarcity and abundance mindset, as well as the law of attraction.